Three Pears, three pairs, 3 X 2=6, threesome times two, six-tom, sex-a-ton, burn calories, hunger, pear, two more, and that makes three pears.

This is my brain:

Wednesday, September 30, 2009


Below are some of the outcomes from the chemical circuits in my lobes and hemispheres. My second degree is in psychology, thanks for asking. :)
It's fascinating that you can think of a neurotransmitter e.g.. Dopamine, yet have completely different neurotransmitters activated to think that thought. Otherwise, all Neuro, Psych, and Medical majors would have cocaine like trips whilst thinking about Dopamine, or to be exact, whilst thinking of it in excess.

I saw the twisting and tossing of a leaf that fell on me through a window as aesthetic movement; the girl sitting across from me on the bus saw it as me throwing a leaf at her.

The word organism is far too close in spelling to the word orgasm... sorry grade 7 & 8 science answers.

The word puss is a gross and 3 dimensional form of synesthesia.

It is possible to code "Nerd" with binary 0's and 1's, this is the only thing getting me through ComSci 203. 01101110 01100101 01110010 01100100...yep, just went there.

I was legitimately made upset once about Aquafina+ being present instead of Vitamin Water.

The question between: 'Bluetooth earpiece, iPhone headphones, or Schizophrenia?' is a common one.

If only chipped nail polish and sporadic inappropriateness were professional...

Although it's extremely hypocritical, not to mention just plain critical, I will usually not follow a prompt given in improper grammar. At least not before I can passive-aggressively correct it:  "Oh there is CD's for sale, I am interested if there are CD's for sale!"

The human cerebrum and advanced cerebral cortex, distinguish us from all other mammals. Praise it and enjoy it, for good (questionable) mental health is to be cherished.

Tuesday, September 29, 2009

Sushi Slippers and other reasons I love

Sushi slippers in Yellow Tail (light pink) and Tamago (yellow) flavor.

This is not an optical illusion. A wonderfully crafty, sushi loving individual has made, and is now selling sushi themed slippers, booties, iPod cases, and socks! It is truly wonderful the array of things you can find on esty; raw fish inspired foot coverings are my most creative and hilarious finds so far. I just love how the rice is made of plush fluffy fabric, and the fish are soft cushion looking things. I have yet to make up my mind between: yellow tail (light pink), tamago (yellow), ebi (shrimp guy), and spicy tuna (dark pinkish-red). Although, I do love the googley eyes featured on the 'shrimp guy'. There are also fortune cookie slippers, for when you're looking for fortune and guidance whilst avoiding cold hardwood. The items also appear to be shipped in those adorable take-out boxes. So, I digress with these hilarious/comfortable/delicious images:

You will find these comfortable... in bed.


iPod's love googley eyed Ebi.

It's soy good, it's so rice.

Thursday, September 24, 2009

'Cool' is All About Leather Sleeves

“I saw a guy at a party wearing a leather jacket and I thought, ‘That is cool.’ But then I saw another guy wearing a leather vest and I thought, ‘That is not cool’. Then I figured it out: ‘Cool’ is all about leather sleeves.” - Demetri Martin

I went to Yuk Yuks this week and was inspired to make my next entry about my favorite comedian. My mind/bladder is highly stimulated every time I listen to/watch Demetri Martin. I first discovered his stage performance "If I", a deliciously intellectual, and hilarious story of self-discovery. Not only did he inspire me to acquire useless skills, and want to do brainteasers for fun; he really made me think and laugh hard. If I, can be found on YouTube in multiple sections. He also has a show on the comedy network, Important Things with Demetri Martin. The premise is that he picks an 'Important Thing' to theme each show around. Previous things have included power, chairs, timing, and brains. He's a comedic master, and incorporates jokes, skits, songs, sketches, and even graphs! You can watch Important Things here. Demetri is also ( a superhuman, a genius, a man with a wicked name...I digress) a great actor and is currently starring in the movie Taking Woodstock. I can't wait to see it.

Jokes [>] ( you'll get this reference after one show )
Ha-“A drunk driver is very dangerous. So is a drunk backseat driver if he’s persuasive. ‘Dude make a left.’ ‘Those are trees…’ ‘Trust me.’
Haha-“I wrapped my Christmas presents early this year, but I used the wrong paper. See, the paper I used said ‘Happy Birthday’ on it. I didn’t want to waste it so I just wrote ‘Jesus’ on it.”
Hahaha- “‘Sort of’ is such a harmless thing to say. Sort of. It’s just a filler. Sort of – it doesn’t really mean anything. But after certain things, sort of means everything. Like after ‘I love you’ or ‘You’re going to live’ or ‘It’s a boy.’”"I was in a store and I saw a pocket dictionary and that made me laugh because it’s such…a specific item. I don’t know that many words and I’m going out…and I have pants. Perfect!”
Hahahaha-“I wanna make a jigsaw puzzle that’s 40,000 pieces. And when you finish it, it says ‘go outside.’”
Hahahahaha-“One of my friends has a stutter and a lot of people think that’s a bad thing, but to me that’s just like starting certain words with a drum roll. That’s not an impediment, that’s suspense! What’s he going to say? Car?? …or Carnival?? …Carburetor!?!? Man…"
LOL-“An easy way to sound like a creep is to add the word ‘ladies’ to the end of things you say. It can be harmless too, but it just makes you a creep. ‘Yeah after college I spent two years in the peace corps, ladies?’ The more harmless it is, the more of a creep you become. ‘I broke my arm. I need help, ladies?’”
Dark Chuckle-"If I ever saw an amputee getting hanged, I’d probably just start calling out letters."
LMFAO-"I heard this lady say “I love kids.” That’s ni
ce, a little weird though. It’s like saying “I like people, for a
little while.” “How old are you? 14? Fuck off!” You can say “I love kids” as a general statement, that’s fine. It’s when you get specific that you get in to trouble. “I love twelve-year-olds.”
Giggle- "I was on the street. This guy waved to me, and he came up to me and said, “I’m sorry, I thought you were someone else.” And I said, “I am."

Joke that accompanies sketch/exclamation above: 'I like to use 'I Can't Believe it's Not Butter' on my toast in the morning, because sometimes when I eat breakfast, I like to be incredulous. How was breakfast? Unbelievable. "

Important thing= This blog -"If you have a pear shaped body, you should not wear pear colored clothes, or act juicy."

Laugh, it's important.

Tuesday, September 22, 2009

"Inspiring Phrases" in Commas

I am sure a majority of the people I know have a word document, a facebook info section, or even a notebook ( tangible objects are out of date) with a list of their favorite quotes. I actually have all three of these, and shall now also have a blog entry. It should also be noted, that I just had a lab on APA formatting. These quotes will not have proper citation, and I am quite content with the fact.

Self-pity is our worst enemy and if we yield to it, we can never do anything good in the world- Helen Keller (Go to post titled " 200+ reasons to be happy".)

Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much"- Oscar Wilde (I really wish I could have seen him angry.)

At twilight, nature is not without loveliness, though perhaps its chief use is to illustrate quotations from the poet - Oscar Wilde (I think him and I would have been great friends.)

In the depth of winter, I finally learned that within me there lay an invincible summer. - Albert Camus (I am hoping that if I am poetic enough the winter won't be as cold.)

We only know of one duty, and that is to love. - Albert Camus (This is also the same man who taught me: existentialism, consequence, nature's apathy, and that we are all alone.)

Equations are the devil's sentences- Stephen Colbert, The Colbert Report (That explains why engineers are like that.)

'Whom are you?' he asked, for he had attended business college. - "The Steel Box", 1898 (One of my favorite past-times is correcting fellow commerce student's grammar.)

Almost nobody dances sober, unless they happen to be insane".- H. P. Lovecraft (This one goes out to a certain passionate dancer I am affiliated with :D. Also, this writer is not to be confused with Harry Potter and Luna Lovegood's crafty love child.

Most people are other people. Their thoughts are someone elses opinions, their lives a mimicry, their passions a quotation". - Oscar Wilde (I thrive on being an ironic individual.)

Quote the greats, find wisdom and joy

Saturday, September 19, 2009

Mad Men would be proud

Marketing being one of majors, I love seeing interesting advertising and product ideas. I have favorite commercials most of the time. Currently the Dos Equis commercial is still the most interesting in the world, I am also a fan of the new Dairymilk chocolate "techno eyebrows".
These are a few funny commercials I found on the Internet. They were considered too "racy" for broadcasting; perhaps, not all viewers appreciate dark and inappropriate humor like I do. 

I have a deep set appreciation for all condom commercials.

You know you're an advertising master when you can combine elders and sexuality and still make it funny.

How badly do I want this to happen the next time I go to the mall? 

I thought this commercial was personally hilarious. Everybody including the Blackberry to iPhone converts (my boyfriend, bless him) knows that Apple dominates in the fruit basket.
Find humor in life. 

Thursday, September 17, 2009

Poetry in Scheduled Motion

Mostly I absolutely dread having to rely on public transportation. It's always late when I need to get to class/work/the bar. My hatred of this eco-friendly choice of transportation is quantified during the majority of the year, when this city is in deep freeze mode. With the recent H1N1 scare, and my general disgust for touching anything on a bus, the transit riding experience has been rather unpleasant for me. 

However, the other day I finally saw one of the only things I enjoy about riding the bus. Poetry in motion, where for were thou?? These incredibly well written, usually free lance poems are featured in the commercial ceiling section of Calgary's buses. I remember the first time I saw one, I had to take a triple take. No way was there unconventional art plastered all over a highly frequented public place in one of the most conservative city's in this country! I was ecstatic.  I haven't seen one in almost a year, so it really made my day to see that they were out, about, and metaphorical once more! I secretly always wanted one of my poems to be featured there for wandering commuter eyes to see. This is what the poem reads in the image above:


By her bed his photograph.
And I wonder how many hours
They've looked at each other like this - 
She at the dead torn-away part of her life,
He at a now bird-thin grey old lady
Once so dark and lovely in his eyes.

- Christopher Wiseman

Ride transit, cut the C02 emissions, and get cultured. :)

Wednesday, September 16, 2009


I have a fairly addictive personality, when I like something I really like something...
People say I am a fairly passionate person, but in other respects I am really just a consumer whore. 

So, here is a list of my present addictions:

-My iPhone: 10 months, seems like a lifetime of bliss.  I am fairly sure I need this wonderful technological device to breathe, or carry out some other function that my medulla oblongata would usually be in charge of. 

-Vitamin Water: 4 months and still have multiple daily cravings. Best in Kiwi-Strawberry and Dragon fruit. 

-Starbucks Iced Chai Tea Lattes: 8 months, I had one everyday for  a month at one point. I am going to Costco this weekend to get some more in bulk...

- Twilight: 9 months. I dream about vampires at least once a week, and the New Moon movie comes out on my birthday, this obsession loves me too.

- This is The Life- Amy Mcdonald : 6 months, I love love love this song. It is ideal for my party university lifestyle right now, and just makes me happy!  

- The Office: 1 year, I owe this obsession to my friend the writer of Dainty Things. I watched the shows consistently online for a while, with 10 episodes watched in a single day once (I was sick, but still). I own the first two seasons and hope to acquire a greater amount of funding to buy the rest! Yay for situational irony and Dwight! 

- Vodka Cran highballs: 1 year, and I'm not moving. Vodka has always been my poison, but cranberry juice is good for my kidneys, tastes great, and is low is calories! Yay to not getting a beer gut or hangovers when I just drink these! 

- Thinking Green: started about 2 years ago, but has intensified ten fold over the past 2 months. I am constantly conscience of my own and the product's I use eco-footprints. I will write a blog entry describing all of my eco changes/ways of life. Until then I will continue to worry whether or not the organic corn from Mexico I ate yesterday, is really better than getting local pesticide sprayed cobs. 

-Solitaire: 2 years, I once beat this Microsoft Windows computer game in 53 seconds!! My friend with a french name beat my high score, but that doesn't take away from my sheer need to play at least one, or two... or an hour worth of games every day on my phone. 

- Yellow chicken curry: 8 months, The Chili Club Thai House has the best stuff. I have it almost every time I work, and crave it every other day.

- Day N' Nite (Kid Cudi crookers remix) : 7 months, this is my ultimate dance  song. I am pretty sure I have heard it at least once a day for the past 7 months, and it never gets old and never ever fails at getting me in a party mood. 

- Animal print: 3 years, I think it's with me for the long run. There is just something about the pattern of animal skin and fur that gets me off. My entire luggage set is zebra print, as is my phone case, a pair of shorts I own, and several pairs of underwear I have. I am still mourning my most likely drunkenly lost, giraffe print ballet flats. 

- Jon and Kate plus 8: 2 years, although I don't like or really want to support the current situation, an addiction is hard to kick.  I watch it over anything else on TV, unless i've recently seen the same episode more than twice. 

-Breakfast at Tiffany's: 4 years, I have my room themed to match the Tiffany teal, silver, white, and black. I was also Holly Golightly for Halloween two years back. The movie is just so darling.

- Updating my blog: one week, it's the newest but I see it sticking hard. I already have about 15 future post ideas, and think of a few new ones daily.

 I can never ever try hard drugs. 

Tuesday, September 15, 2009

Reality TV in Pastel (or the end of art as we know it)

So the other day whilst innocently clicking around I stumbled upon this:
(Link to gallery of pastel drawings)

Yes, some very talented and obsessive Hills fan has indeed made accurate portraits of most of The Hill's cast, as depicted during emotional moments. I love how everyone is basically crying or "pouting" (Yes, it was Heidi, big surprise). I commend this, seemingly neurotic and obvious 4 season DVD owner for not screwing around with ambiguity and artistic license. She cut the crap and drew what she was really thinking about on a Monday night: "Lauren really does have awesome crying mascara, she always looks so fragile and glamourous." Although, I feel slightly possessed saying it, the pastel drawings seem to capture the realness of the generally scripted "reality" TV show. 

The Karin Bubas pastel drawings of The Hills Characters, was just on exhibition in Vancouver.

Art makes people think, reality TV does not.

Monday, September 14, 2009

Card collection

Over the last two years I have come across about 10  playing cards on sidewalks and roads all around the world. My first couple were found on  a very distinct night when a house party was cancelled and a group of us had to walk around and drink in miscellaneous parks... there is a picture of a couple of us in a gutter from that evening as well. I always carry the Jack of Hearts I found that night.  The reasons are that: my favorite number is 11 ( Jack card comes after 10), hearts are universal, and I like boys ( Jack). 

It's strange how many obscure/interesting items you can find during walks by just paying some more attention.  I actually heard from someone that playing cards were very common to find. I'm slowly making my way to 52.
Take a closer look and learn how to play poker. 
( Sorry about the strange smiling child in the picture, I really liked the 11 of hearts in the background )

Sunday, September 13, 2009

200+ reasons to be happy. :)

1) Swimming in the sea 
Best friends 
A dog's unconditional love 
5) Seat Warmers 
London Fogs 
Helping others 
10) Recycling 
Classical music 
Sunrises ( Couldn't leave them out) 
Good advice 
15) Bringing a smile to someone's face 
Top 40 dance tracks 
Hearing your favorite bands live 
The New Yorker 
20) Birthday parties 
Love (these are obviously not listed in priority order.. <3) >
Hybrid/Electric Cars  
Scarves (preferably pretty hand knit ones) 
Mittens/ Hats that look like animals 
Christmas lights on trees 
45) Christmas lights on people 
Crave coconut cupcakes  
50) Laughing until your abs hurt 
Buying your little cousins ice cream 
Family reunions 
Being home 
55) Postcards 
Baking cookies 
Air drying clothing on the line 
Breakfast cereal anytime 
60) Tv shows named: Sex with Mom and Dad 
Booster juice 
Watching someone fall ( not hurting themselves of course...) 
Ben Lee and Jack Johnson (romantic songwriters in general) 
Fresh peaches 
65) Watermelon that totally soaks everything in your mouth's vicinity 
Irish accents 
Fuzzy slippers 
The voice change that helium causes 
Silly string 
70) Focusing on what makes you happy 
BBC news 
Unbreakable Australian bills 
Cevapi and Ajvar (it's a croatian thing, although I don't eat beef anymore)  
75) Roundabouts 
Kissing the Blarney Stone 
Mountain range views 
Tanned skin 
80) The smell of sun block 
Pina Coladas 
85) Campfire songs 
Tv series on DVD 
Leaving for vacations as soon as exams are over 
Youtube videos 
90) Text messaging 
ISEEESA (my business and environment club at university)  
Eco-friendly living 
The smell of burnt out candles 
Cold beer 
95) Psychology 
Visa cards 
100) Proper grammar 
Getting an A 
Steeps tea 
Wii games 
105) Drunk singing in taxis 
Chips and Dip 
Waking up on top of a mountain 
Castle explorations 
Local Farmers' Markets 
110) Mathematics (it simply fits together, please refer to blog description)  
Natural hot springs 
Doubling the speed limit 
Polka dot anything 
Aroma therapy oils 
115) People who play the piano beautifully whilst thinking that nobody is listening 
Sexual health education 
Post-it notes 
Board games 
120) Digital Cameras 
50% off sales 
Religious Studies 
Waffle makers 
Face masks 
125) Giveaways 
Swedish chocolate 
130) Song lyrics that paint an exact picture of your emotions 
Memorizing song lyrics 
Guilty pleasures like "Stars are Blind" by Paris Hilton 
Mnemonic devices 
Shisha bars 
135) Chai tea lattes (once took a bet that I couldn't go a week without one, I did it, but only because I got one if i did)  
Sunny days in the middle of winter 
Daily vitamins (with a vitah not a vayta) 
Breakfast At Tiffany's 
Bacon (my only exception to pesce-pollo-tarianism.... otherwise known as being fake-a-tarian)  
140) Silver jewelry from Sarajevo 
Peter's milkshakes (sans ecoli) 
Maps of the globe (pinning all the places you've visited) 
12 X 12 is 144 now shut your mouth and say no more 
A really warm bed in a really cold room 
Seafood in general ;) 
Collecting animal stickers from Croatian chocolates and putting them into my sticker book 
150) The gift of working/interacting with the disabled 
Really obscene rap songs 
Lazer Tag 
Getting ready to go out with your girlfriends  
155) Reproducing famous paintings and adding a modern aspect to them 
Message heart candy 
Good commercials 
Giving the dog a bath 
160) Furniture forts 
Working in a restaurant on Valentines/Mothers' Day (very good for the wallet) 
Breakfast at the Mutch's  
Yogurt parfaits (Starbuck's peach and raspberry to be specific) 
Textbooks that use Star Wars to explain a religious concept! 
165) 50's jazz parking lot music (rare but wonderful when found) 
Movie soundtracks (so many treasures) 
Learning another language 
Long lost friends 
Steam rooms 
170) The crunch of leaves in Fall 
The endorphins after a workout 
Dolphins (coolest mammals out there) 
175) Fashion Week 
The exuding high that over-tiredness/studying causes 
Changing your routines 
180) Temperatures above 20 Degrees Celsius 
ISEEESA partying together (we dominate the bar) 
Imported European candy  
Those bean bags that you heat up in the microwave and put on sore body parts <3 >
185) Sitting on a park bench and singing The Beatles for passers by 
How awesome lulu lemons are for the butt 
Dancing in the kitchen 
Sitting and dancing Music 
blog websites that allow free downloads <3>
190) Tarot card readings
Having dessert and a bottle of wine with the girls 
Croatian poetry 
195) The potential for solar power generating paint!!
 Letting spontaneity take reign
 Following your heart 
Insulting strangers with UK slang 
The money multiplier 
200) Realizing that life can be entirely lived in happiness  (hope you're close if you're still reading this!)  
Making the first run in fresh powder 
Driving on the left side of the road 
Demetri Martin and Dane Cook
 205) My iPhone (I think I need it to breathe)  
Guys who work at Starbucks and are either: really flamboyant or really attractive
 Tell me why- Supermode
 Fashion Television 
210) Dancing on tables 
Pull and Peel
 Guitar players 
Seasonal Chocolate - (Milka cream eggs)
 215) Coca-Cola from the glass bottle 
Compliments from strangers 
Warm apple pie and vanilla ice cream
Men in suits (Yes, please.)
 Irish milk (the best tasting)
 220) Whenever I don't have to rely on public transit
 Tea before bed time
 Free music downloads (Starbucks redeem system)
 Nellie's breakfasts
 High School friends coming back for the summer 
225) English AP
Deep Ecology 
Recycling empties to fund the more booze fund! 
Watching old Friends episodes  
230) The hangover giggles 
Green and Pink KiKi bonboni 
The Office UK 
Finding individuals downtown that look like The Office UK characters 
Serving old couples that are still in love 
235) Seeing Cougars at your favorite hip dance bar... wearing wigs 
Bottle opener keychains 
 Single stemmed red roses (I still have it <3)  
240) ZUMI ZUMI!!! 
The most interesting man in the world, dos equis commercials
 Stephen Avenue 
Bracelets made from bent Malaysian bark 
Lint rollers 
245) Porch swings
 Drunk people from the UK
 Massage oils 
Pencil skirts 
The first flower that buds in your garden 
250) Dog parks!!!! 
Supporting local artists/your friends 
Online Banking 
 Travel agents 
Finding really old pictures, it's much better than memory (minus the ones my sister puts up of me on fb) 
255) GPS on my iPhone  
Staple-less stapler
Heart-shaped sunglasses
Sepia toned pictures
260) HIM (I accidentally pressed caps there, somehow still ever so appropriate. :D)  

Thursday, September 10, 2009

Intangible Assets

It's all in front of me
The sea breeze, a leaf shaped door knob rusted at the edges,
a broken wooden banister in the top entry hallway before you can smell the antiques
Fake flowers in crystal vases below impressionist sea horses
Tanned century stained textured wallpaper falling down at the corners
The gas stove
Old clumped sugar in a blue and white porcelain tin
Scratchy comfortable armchairs and the white paint chipped balcony doors moving with the breeze
Church bells instead of a watch, the shade of tall sour orange trees on dusty stone footings
Palm leaves covering the stoic stone table, tiny candelabra above
Clothes line and palm tree at a 90 degree angle,
you can see into the washroom from there too
Beautiful copper wood vanity with seashell carvings.
The ceilings are cracked
A broken figurine in the parlor with dried flowers inside  that haven't been moved in the last decade.
Or so I keep telling myself.
The mid staircase stone coat of arms, Three pears signifying archetypical individualism,
my favorite oxymoron; I always knew we must be a family of artists...
It's always so much harder, so much more vivid when you're there.
My brain isn't letting me leave.
The most distinct feature of all, your soul residing in the remnants of every single atom. Breathing, thriving, vibrating with love and wholeness, severed.
In my loving memory.

This is a poem I wrote a few months back about my family's ancient house on Korcula, Croatia. It was sold against a majority of the family's wishes (mine heavily included) 3 years ago. Above are the very vibrant last memories I remember about the house. I went back after three years this summer. It was painful, but healing at the same time. I cried. I still love the island and consider it home. I am a much stronger person now, and only wish I could have shared the beauty and comfort that was that home with more of the people I love. This is my past, and although unfortunately not my future, still very much a part of me.

This blog is an ode to the beautiful Palaca Aneri, and our family coat of arms featuring Three Pears