Intangible Assets

It's all in front of me
The sea breeze, a leaf shaped door knob rusted at the edges,
a broken wooden banister in the top entry hallway before you can smell the antiques
Fake flowers in crystal vases below impressionist sea horses
Tanned century stained textured wallpaper falling down at the corners
The gas stove
Old clumped sugar in a blue and white porcelain tin
Scratchy comfortable armchairs and the white paint chipped balcony doors moving with the breeze
Church bells instead of a watch, the shade of tall sour orange trees on dusty stone footings
Palm leaves covering the stoic stone table, tiny candelabra above
Clothes line and palm tree at a 90 degree angle,
you can see into the washroom from there too
Beautiful copper wood vanity with seashell carvings.
The ceilings are cracked
A broken figurine in the parlor with dried flowers inside  that haven't been moved in the last decade.
Or so I keep telling myself.
The mid staircase stone coat of arms, Three pears signifying archetypical individualism,
my favorite oxymoron; I always knew we must be a family of artists...
It's always so much harder, so much more vivid when you're there.
My brain isn't letting me leave.
The most distinct feature of all, your soul residing in the remnants of every single atom. Breathing, thriving, vibrating with love and wholeness, severed.
In my loving memory.

This is a poem I wrote a few months back about my family's ancient house on Korcula, Croatia. It was sold against a majority of the family's wishes (mine heavily included) 3 years ago. Above are the very vibrant last memories I remember about the house. I went back after three years this summer. It was painful, but healing at the same time. I cried. I still love the island and consider it home. I am a much stronger person now, and only wish I could have shared the beauty and comfort that was that home with more of the people I love. This is my past, and although unfortunately not my future, still very much a part of me.

This blog is an ode to the beautiful Palaca Aneri, and our family coat of arms featuring Three Pears