Three Pears, three pairs, 3 X 2=6, threesome times two, six-tom, sex-a-ton, burn calories, hunger, pear, two more, and that makes three pears.

This is my brain:

Monday, November 30, 2009

November Nom Noms

November nom noms, here grows (oh man, I should get paid for this):


Broccoli - Tiny trees pleading for your mercy.
Broccolini - The cool taller and slimmer cousin of Broccoli. 
Brussels Sprouts - Belgian infant vegetable. 
Butternut Squash - A load of pish posh.
Cauliflower - Ugliest flower ever, thanks for nothing Cauli. 
Celery Root - Like a re-mix, mash that shit up.
Chard - Surprisingly, less fat than lard.
Collards - I saw her lipstick stains on his collards!! 
Fennel - Guy that made the Philosopher's Stone.
Leeks - For geeks and soup.
Parsnip - So close to being pair (of) nips.
Potatoes - Harry pota's toes.
Pumpkin - Pumped up kin.
Rutabaga - Sounds like a 90s pop song.
Salsify - Satisfy with salsify. 
Sweet Potatoes - What Ginny thinks of them.
Sunchoke - What the Sopranos would do if they met the giant star over a 'long winter'. 
Turnips - Even closer to being Turning Nips.

Fruits (Now the shits got seeds!): 

Cranberries - Clean that colon! 
Kiwi Fruit - Because Kiwis are fruits!  
Persimmon - Sounds like a liquor. 
Pomegranate - Po, me, and Gran ate. 
Tamarillo - Assuming only amardillos eat this.
Tangerines - The middle child of the Orange family. 

Le Poisson, le poisson, hee he hee, ho ho ho: 

Clams - Juice them!
Crab - Not as fun to attain as crabs. 
Mussels - HGH, Protein!!!
Oysters - Sounds like an eclectic film writer's last name.  
Scallops - Another great victory for bacon wrapping.

Eat in season, cause it's freezin'. 

Thursday, November 26, 2009

Twit pic worthy

Here is this week in iPhone pictures. Evidentially, all twit-pic (very sad that my spell check knew this) worthy, but I would rather commemorate them in this blog entry. Also, I have no idea how to use twit-pic.

The most important bulletin at University, if not the one most likely to make you late for class because of its raw truth and hilarity.

Chinese weddings: the place where other people's grandmothers allow for temporary flaming dice tattoos to be put on them. Ice has so many uses.

I love Sexual Awareness week. Look at that grin.

Now you can look like a "I put out" girl without any hair spray! Available at Wal-Mart, Always Low Prices (Standards).

Sock bunny person of Wal-Mart, not at all the exact same person as my boyfriend. 

Take pictures, they last longer.

Monday, November 23, 2009

You could totally strip to this!

I received a great gift from my sister this birthday season. It's a Music Listography notebook where I am asked to produce musical playlists such as: songs that I would strip to, or a song that reminds me of each of my friends. It's incredibly entertaining, not to mention futuristically nostalgic. So here are the beginnings of both of those lists for your listening? reading? pleasure.

Songs to strip to:
1) Sexy Bitch - Akon
2) 15 Step - Radiohead
3) Sexy Boy - Air
4) You Sexy Thing - Hot Chocolate
5) Gimme More - Britney Spears
6) Bounce - Timbaland

A song for each of my friends (Purely based on psychological phenomenon):
1) On the Run - Sam Roberts (SW- one of many)
2) Consequence - The Notwist (RO)
3) Cause = Time - Broken Social Scene (HM)
4) Looking Through You - The Beatles (DM)
5) Have You Ever Seen The Rain - CCR (MZ)
6) Beautiful Girls - Sean Kingston (LM)
7) Magalenha - Sergio Mendes (TP)
8) Mama Told Me - Crystal Waters (BG)
9) Dance Anthem of the 80s - Regina Spektor (IK)
10) Church - T-Pain (SC)
11) Please Don't Stop The Music - Rihanna (KF)
12) Paper Planes - M.I.A. (JF)
13) Sunshine - Matt Costa (AP)
14) Untrust Us - Crystal Castles (JG)
15) Live Your Life - T.I. (HT)
16) Cuerpo Triste - Estopa (OR)
17) Ur So Gay  - Katy Perry (BW)
18) Your Song - Elton John (BB)
19) The Way I Are - Timbaland (MG)
20) Sound of Settling - Death Cab For Cutie (KM)

Lists aren't always for organization, but enjoyment.


Wednesday, November 18, 2009

My Goodness My Guinness

Not only do I adore Guinness, their advertising is impeccable. Here are some of my favorite Guinness ads from the last few years.
It's alive inside! I first saw this in Ireland, it's what made me love Guinness advertising.
The Argentineans love the black stuff. 

Where would the Irish be if their advertising didn't encourage drinking before 1pm?

And of course, some of the good ol' vintage lifestyle setting.

Guinness has versatile demographics, such as Malaysian 90's beauty queens.

The important lesson today is: remember it's not beer, it's a stout!

Monday, November 16, 2009

Stuff I like

Just off the jet-setter plane, and I'm already amped to write a new blog entry. Actually, I just want to share a hilarious Blog I just clicked my way to. It's called Stuff That White People Like, and features... well a list of things that White People like!

My personal favorites have been:

#124 Hating People Who Wear Ed Hardy
#121 Funny or Ironic Tattoos
#118 Ugly Sweater Parties
#111 Pea Coats
#108 Appearing to Enjoy Classical Music
#107 Comparing People to Hitler
#83 Bad Memories of High School
#2 Religions That Their Parents Don't Belong To

Obvious # 130 Idea: Blogs!

Wednesday, November 11, 2009


I always make a wish.

Today, several came true. I am in the most beautiful city in the country, with my best friend. Surely, a remembrance day to remember. Here are my favorite things about Montreal already (it's been two hours):
  • The giant over-pass highways, that appear extremely collapsable. 
  • The teal copper church tops.
  • The white street signs, and beautiful street names.
  • The pretty leaves all over the city.
  • The Jesuit residence; extreme irony will ensue.
  • The town-house shops and their exterior signage.
  • Best tasting Starbucks latte I've ever had. 
  • The music/psychology area at Concordia, where music is always playing. 
  • Bee's door decoration of small bumble bees.
  • Hearing Bee sing from the shower. :) I missed her. 
  • How there seems to be art shows, museums, and churches everywhere. 
  • The magnitude of hole in the wall, cheap, yet delicious restaurants. 
  • Um, essentially everything! Even the french! 

Seriously wish I could transfer universities right about now!

Monday, November 9, 2009

My Honey-do-list From Mother Nature

Here is a list of all of my green endevours, products, habits... you get it all the things that allow me to say that I am an aspiring environmentalist:

- I don't drive. I take transit, and if I did yield a vehicle (Caution) it would be one extremely fuel efficient car-pooled wonder.
- I've recycled any and anything even before the blue bins were instated... Have a huge pet peeve when people put non-recyclables in my clearly marked bin.
- I use all natural home made deodorant that consists of pure organic coconut oil, and baking soda.  It actually works, naturally moisturizes, and smells amazing
- I use organic, fair-trade, sustainably packaged face cream,  currently Freeman brand.
- I use bars of all natural locally made face and body wash, from the Rocky Mountain Soup Company.  I keep them in reused plastic tampon cases for travel.
- *Boys don't read this point. Seriously, I am warning you out of caring, don't.* I don't need my tampon case because I use a Diva Cup. At first I was terrified, but now it's totally natural (pun intended).
- I use 100% recycled packaging fair trade body lotion, currently it's Dewberry from The Body Shop.
- I use the term I use too often when I start sentences.
- I use LUSH bath bombs, massage bars ( great for use as body butter), and cuticle oil. I am dreaming of some mint solid shampoo, and perhaps a vanilla solid perfume. First have to use what I already have of course.
- All of my school notebooks are either reused, or made from 100% post recycled materials.
- I buy my dog biodegradable doggie bags. My mom usually urks me and gets plastic bags at supermarkets to use instead. Whenever I have extra cash I get her eco-poopy bags to try and counterbalance.
- I only ever get a plastic bag at a store when I don't have a purse/ tote on me to carry purchases with. If that's the case, I ask for a medium sized bag, so that all of my purchases can fit inside.
- I use Eco-dent, biodegradable, vegan, sustainably packaged floss... although really, I only use it right before a trip to the dentist
- I have several biodegradable pens for school and love my staple-less stapler.
- I bought a snuggie to keep me warm in the winter ( I am wearing it in the midst of writing this blog entry), instead of increasing the heat.
- I have a three outlet plug that connects to my printer, tv, and dvd player. All can be easily unplugged with one fowl pull when I leave my room.
- So long as it's daylight, I don't turn the light on when I take a shower, or go to the bathroom. This is partially due to the fact that I am slightly afraid of the dark. My mom beats me in this respect she always showers in the dark with candles on.
- I take sailor showers in luke-warm-warm water.
- I open my arms to all of my very fashionable friend's old clothing and bored with items and I give all of my old clothes away to charity.
- I try and buy used textbooks whenever I can and always sell my books again.
- I get a lot of my boots repaired instead of buying new ones. Ahem, minus that one incident (Mother) of which we shall not speak (perhaps yelling is better) including a certain pair of beautiful blue suede heeled wonders.
- I walk whenever the weather permits. Especially if I know the way and it takes less than 45 minutes.
- I always take the stairs unless it's over 5 flights, I have cargo, or a friend who won't join.
- I always let my hair air dry, and rarely use styling products or curling/straightening irons
- I usually wear clothes 2-3 times or before it starts to smell, or becomes stained before I wash it.
- I own an aluminum macbook, supposedly the greenest notebook yet.
- I am involved in a student group that educates and engages students in the integration of energy, environment, and economy.
- I shed a silent tear whilst looking into an oilsands pit
- I go to the farmers market every other week, and buy local organic food, and goodies there.
- Although I take planes to Europe every summer, I always stay in small towns or cities. Where I don't get into a vechile for over a month at a time,  get around by walking, and always eat and drink local
- I eat/enjoy my mom's garden grown herbs, lettuce, and tomatoes.
- I have found an organic, all natural no preservative, better tasting, and wait for it.... less caloric Vitamin Water. I love planet organic!
- I asked my parents to take me on a planet organic shopping spree for my birthday... and perhaps order me some 100% Pure make-up. Sometimes a girl just wants black berry died natural mascara packaged in post consumer plastic.
- I always have organic milk at home.
- I like to buy things in bulk. Costco is amazing, as are savings of over 90% every-time I have a homemade iced chai tea latte.
- I use a tumbler for my coffee.
- I use a water bottle for my water and smoothies.
- I like using aromatherapy instead of air freshners and sprays.
- I always turn the tap off whilst brushing and lathering.
- I turn off all the lights in people's houses that I see aren't being used...yay for creepy good deeds!
- I don't eat beef or pork, and try and limit my meat to one meal a day, with one day of the week totally vegetarian. Most of the time I accidentally eat veggie so, yahoo!
- I own several pairs of bamboo socks.
- I purchase music from iTunes or download from blogs, and haven't bought a CD in over 5 years.
- I never print pictures, FB albums are a gift people. Always check the comment, they make the pictures.
- I hand re-sow on buttons, and mend holes.
- I use organic, all-natural, sustainably packaged shampoos and conditions. Current favorite is J.A.S.O.N's  Apricot conditioner.
- I Recently switched to organic yogurt. Luckily, it tastes just as good, and isn't greater than 50 cents more expensive per package.
- I am constantly thinking of new ways to lessen my impact. I believe it's all about what you're individually capable of and comfortable with.

My acts alone may not save the adorable (Coca-Cola) polar bears, but that doesn't make them meaningless. Even the most miniscule change is still a green change.

Show Mother Nature you care.

"Be fruitful, and [replicate art]"

One of my greatly beloved, yet neglected hobbies is replicating famous paintings/art. More specifically I have a thing for impressionist work, especially Degas' Green Dancer pieces. The pictures below are the original along with my 'negative' version of Green Dancers (my photo quality is quite abysmal, I do actually have an orange dress on my prima).

If only my paint brush wasn't too thick for the job, and my prima ballerina didn't end up accidentally looking like an anti-stereotype/anorexia symbol. I call it Green (double D)ancers. :)

Anyways, I have been trying to find some inspiration for the two empty canvases sitting beside my bed. Ideas so far have been: doing IKEA Audrey in Teal, Black, and Silver (Tiffany's colors)

Or my favorite painting The Kiss by Gustav Klint, and trying to make it as accurate as possible.

I always thought this painting was beautiful because it was so strange. In its meadowy flurry the line is blurred between romance, and force; but the gold leaf really does it for me.

Any more suggestions?
And please no requests for nude paintings.... unless your initials are SRW, and you know who you're going to call.

Thursday, November 5, 2009

Antique arousal

I'm not sure whether I was Victorian in a past life, or I just became accustomed to old century decor from the Korcula House (more so museum than house). Perhaps, both are true.
None the less, I am extremely attracted to antique victorian style. I especially have a liking for old keys, wall papers, vanities, mirrors, and kitchen tins. Also, the idea of having oil paintings rather than pictures of my relatives around is incredibly romantic and artistic to me; that person is a piece of art.

The following images make me want to ditch all the modern technologies that allow me to create this entry, and take a deep "old oaky" smelling breath.

I am seriously jealous of Marie Antoinette, minus the whole decapitation fiasco.

Tuesday, November 3, 2009

Controversial Comic Condom Commercials

I call this one deep space sixty nine, and the sex shuttle.

This one is orgasm ocean, featuring the sex submarine.

Vagina moons, orgasm orbitals, cock coral, and erection eels; safe sex made hilariously effective.

Monday, November 2, 2009


This may just kill me.

This month's dare challenge is no junk food allowed. This includes fast food, candy (I miss you sour soothers), ice cream, chips (the like), and most of all CHOCOLATE!!

Today, was not the best day I've ever lived on this planet, and lack of chocolate did not help! So I will resolve the rest of this evening by watching "Kate's Story" on TLC, and at least knowing that I don't have 8 children to support. As the famous maxim goes, this too will pass, this being my chocolate irritability, passing in approximately 27 more days. Also, a recap from last month's challenge:

I am significantly more toned than I was. I loved the results and continue doing squats and sit ups whenever I can.  Hated the push ups though, glad to leave those behind in October. Unfortunately for my May dignity, I  ended up losing the challenge. I totally forget about it whilst studying all day for a midterm. Damn deep concentration! I am not looking forward to a dare, but I did rock that test!

Above, my long lost friends.

Sunday, November 1, 2009


This weekend was exceptional. Other than Halloween hilarity, the Metric concert on Friday was a major high point. I have a few comments to make about the show:
  • How cool/attractive/not 35 looking/talented is Emily Haines? Incredibly, so. I support whatever addiction may cause her to be that way. 
  • The negative live image of her playing the synthesizer was a really great background. 
  • I really loved her outfit of a low back silver sequence dress. I personally think it was Twilight inspired (ahem, Twilight fantasies, and Help I'm Alive = symbolism people).
  • The 30 or so hanging bare light bulbs were great theme setting lights.
  • The best songs performed were : Monster Hospital, Stadium Love, Dead Disco, Sick Muse, and of course Combat Baby. 
  • Wish they would have played my favorite songs- Soft Rock Star, Love is a place, and of course Calculation Theme.
  • I am really glad that their fourth album is just as good as their other work. I appreciate the thematic nature of each of their albums. 
  • There is no need to get an artificial buzz from alcohol and drugs when a band's performance will have the same affect. I was buzzing after this show. 
  • It makes all the difference when the passion and joy of performance is palpable from the stage. 
  • I already can't wait for the next time I can see them live... hopefully not behind a head bobber with no consideration for my face's sensation of his hair. 

Keep doing it wrong, singing along.