Three Pears, three pairs, 3 X 2=6, threesome times two, six-tom, sex-a-ton, burn calories, hunger, pear, two more, and that makes three pears.

This is my brain:

Tuesday, November 30, 2010


The songs I was really (Canadian Thanksgiving) thankful for. Also, I'm sure you're all thankful that I still post these even thought they're very outdated, yes, yes, of course you are. 

210/365: I Feel Bonnie, Hot Chip Feat. Bonnie Prince Billy.
Nothing is wasted, heaven is nowhere.

211/365: Throwing Bricks, Florence and the Machine.
Well I'd build you up, but we aren't made of the same stuff.

212/365: Big Bird In A Small Cage, Patrick Watson.
Put a big bird in a small cage and he'll sing you a song.

213/365: I Caught Myself, Paramore.
Everyone has a song that is far from their normal taste, yet they've addicted to it. This is mine.

214/365: 7/4 (Shoreline), Broken Social Scene.
Heard them live on real (Canadian) Thanksgiving weekend, for that I was very thankful.

215/365: I'm Not Calling You A Liar, Florence and the Machine.
I'm not calling you a liar, just don't lie to me.

216/365: All The Wine, The National.
For all of the wine, I was also very thankful.

30 down, 22 to go! 

Saturday, November 27, 2010

The Perfect Crime

That's Where I Stashed the Chandelier. 

Finger Painting

I have an affinity for nail polish. Put in high school math terms, I could wear a different nail color on each finger and make 201376 different hand combinations. That's not even the worst part, on average I buy nail polish solely based on how entertaining I find its name.

Some of my favorite O.P.I names include:
I Pink I Love You
Off With Her Red
 Jade is the New Black
Espresso Your Style
  Who Comes Up With These Names?
Aphrodite's Pink Nightie
Don't Wine, Yukon Do It
Miso Happy With This Color
Your Villa or Mine
Blue My Mind
Back to The Beach Peach
Abbey Rose
Mmmm... Would You Like to Lick-enxtein

Before I continue breathing, I must find these. Too bad they don't have Pantone 327, my favorite. 

Whenever I'm feeling blue I'll put these on. 

My rainbow of nail polish, 32 counted. At this rate I could start insuring these. 

A colorful middle finger to whomever thinks otherwise. 

Thursday, November 25, 2010


 I continue to time travel during this musical project. It really is a skill, no physics are involved though, I hate physics.

Source: WeHeartIt

203/365: Don't You (Forget About Me), Simple Minds.
Continuing with the 80's movies theme, and The Breakfast Club is my favorite.

204/365: Cruel Summer, Bananarama.
Leaving me here on my own, it's a cruel, CRUEL, cruel summer.

205/365: Airline to Heaven, Billy Bragg and Wilco.
Astonishingly amazing! Why havent you clicked on the link yet? Hop to it.

206/365: Ohh, It's Kind of Crazy, SoulDecision.
Have I proven my great indulgence for the year 2001's music?

207/365: You Sexy Thing, Hot Chocolate.
What the neighbors were blaring this morning, somebody likes a mantra tune before work.

208/365: I'm Like A Bird, Nelly Furtado.
How cool did I think she was in her orange shirt up in that tree. So cool.

209/365: Blue Lips, Regina Spektor.
Blue, the most human color.

29 down, 23 to go! 

Monday, November 22, 2010

Strong Enough For A Woman, Made for a Man

This is my previous marketing group's commercial for the DRTV product Mighty Mendit. I'm going on the record and saying that the tagline and following commercial were not my idea. It should also be noted that fabric adhesive doesn't make girls in gyms aroused, and that the guy was picked for the part solely based on his biceps. If you must know, we actually did fix the shirt using Mighty Mendit; we passed it around during our presentation and nobody was able to rip the seam (That was my brilliant contribution).  Links to more MKTG 317 made commercials are available after the end of this masterpiece. 

I'm not proud of this you know. 

Tuesday, November 16, 2010

Kitsch for hipsters

Urban Outfitters is simultaneously the bane of my existence and the retail equivalent of my deep material dreams. Here are items I wish I had a legit salary to splurge on.  These things may be pretty, but you really should just pity me.  Also, it took some serious highlighting and Shift maneuvering to get the URLs for these pictures, you gotta appreciate. 

Tribal towels, like all of the chefs fighting for their land rights had. 

I'd fill this with pictures of my naked body in the shower. 

This is called the "Antoinette Fainting Sofa," enough said. 

I want this more than life itself. 

This bottle opener was made for Sanja. 

I want to fucking work there. 

Chairs for my charms. 

Lucy: You think you're so smart with that blanket. What are you going to do with it when you grow up?
Linus : Maybe I'll make it into a sport coat. 

I am unfit to be urban. 

Thursday, November 11, 2010

Ravishing Rooms

My use of alliteration both amuses and disgusts me. I do hope you appreciate my use of the english language, because I sacrifice my literary soul to make this post sound interesting. Onward, some ravishing rooms: 

It was Kernel Mustard, in the bedroom, with the headboard. 

Or was he in the sitting room? 

Not so boring beiges. (I am putty in alliteration's alluring arms.)

I can literally smell roses when I look at this. Synesthesia inducing style. 

Mail's for you. 

Waiting for Santa, with a prayer for snow.

Cuckoo clocks and bean bags. I also sometimes don't mind cats. 

Ready for my dirty naked body. 

The moulding, the arch, the windows; hate the foot rest. 

The Adam's Family House after the reno. 

My picturesque street corner, no hookers or stop signs allowed. 

Just because you're sleeping on a couch doesn't mean you can't dream of chandeliers. 

Sunday, November 7, 2010


My love for autotunes will never cease. Most of this week's songs feature me kicking it old school with some of the last decade's best tracks, and 80's movie soundtrack favorites. Enjoy the innervating of your auditory nerves. 

Source: WeHeartIt

196/365: Double Rainbow Song.
Best part of the entire piece: "What does this mean?"

197/365: You Remind Me Of A Girl, Usher.
I had this song stuck in my head for days, was brought on by a female customer reminding me of a girl (bitch) that I once knew.

198/365: I Try, Macy Gray.
This song is so beautiful, I think everyone should rediscover it.

199/365: Sexi Plexi, Jack Johnson.
This entire CD is a vivid memory recalled by my temporal lobe.

200/365: Coquet Coquette, Of Montreal.
Coquet Coquette you know I won't forget, this was my 200th song!

201/265: The Laws Have Changed, New Pornographers.
An ideal mixture of Musical worthy vocals, and baroque beats.

202/365: Shake It Up, The Beatles.
In respect of to the musical number in Ferris Bueller.

28 down, 24 to go! 

Tuesday, November 2, 2010


I has just finished with my full-time work term this week. Thus, this playlist is very well rested. Additionally, I had just discovered The Bed Intruder Phenomena. 

Source: FFFound
189/365: Odessa, Caribou.
The soundtrack to an indie heist.

190/365: All I Do Is Win, Ludacris, T-pain, and every rapper ever.
This is what I imagine Steve Jobs listens to for breakfast.

191/365: The Youth, MGMT.
Just watched The Kids Are Alright, this was the first song on the soundtrack. Exceptional.

192/365: Fortune, Little Dragon.
Finding new study tunes, one of my most fortunate new finds.

193/365: First Time High, Of Montreal.
Don't you know, don't you know that I, am not just searching for a first time high.

194/365: DLZ, TV On The Radio.
About time I featured this classic. Dancing to this actually made me render a nose bleed, epic.

195/365: Bed Intruder Song, Antoine Dodson.
And hide your husband cause they're rappin' errbody out here.

27 down, 25 to go!