Three Pears, three pairs, 3 X 2=6, threesome times two, six-tom, sex-a-ton, burn calories, hunger, pear, two more, and that makes three pears.

This is my brain:

Monday, January 31, 2011


Contemplative romantic melodies and a couple syckkk dance beatzz! 
Source: WeHeartIt

267/365: I'm In Here, Sia.
Sea-a? Sigh-a? She-a? Doesn't matter, she's amazing.

268/365: Oh Hark, Lisa Mitchell.
Once again I leave my grave, leave my grave, leave my grave.

269/365: She's Got You High, Mumm-Ra.
And you don't even know yet.

270/365: Alligator, Tegan and Sara.
Rattled yes, it's true, alligator tears spilled over you.

271/365: Erase Me, Kid Cudi Feat. Kanye West.
Wish I could erase Kanye's name from the contributers line. Great song.

272/365: Coin Laundry, Lisa Mitchell.
Addictive like the smell of freshly laundered clothing. This song is adorable, this video is adorable, this girl is adorable. She looks exactly like a young Audrey Hepburn.

273/365: Teenage Dream, Katy Perry.
This is a criminally guilty pleasure. But it just makes me feel so sexy and juvenile!

38 down, 14 to go! 

Sunday, January 30, 2011

Allergic to Tiffany's

Me: "I'm allergic to all metal that isn't gold or platinum. Even Tiffany's silver god dammit!" 
Boyfriend: "I'll be sure to buy you a lot of plastic then." 

"Allergic to Tiffany's" would be the movie title to my eccentric romantic comedy.  

Monday, January 17, 2011


Week of music to describe me as a human being. Sarcastic, Contemplative, Erratic, Romantic, Non-Athletic, Sentimental, Bad Driver, and Ironic. 


Fashionable people, doing questionable things. #NewGossipGirlThemeSong

We bend, we break, just can't stand it.

The best dance track of 2010, Barbara Streisand.

I wish I was your favorite girl. I wish you thought I was the reason you were in the world.

Boyfriend told me to listen to it because it reminds him of me in an "endearing" way... I don't do team sports.

Number two of the only five country songs in history that I like. So beautiful.

Hangin' on the passenger's side of his best friend's ride trying to holla at me.
I hate driving does that make me a scrubella?

37 down, 15 to go!

Wednesday, January 12, 2011

Breaking Dawn Plug

Teen Mom 2  Janelle:

Kristen Stewart, soon to be 'Teen Mom' in Breaking Dawn:

 I'm just an observer. 

Sunday, January 9, 2011


A most marvelous week starring my birthday and the release of Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 1. This is when shit gets really adult. 

Source: WeHeartIt

253/365: Hope There's Someone, Anthony & The Johnsons.
Haunted with beauty. Listen at your own emotional risk.

254/365: O'Children, Nick Cave.
The one Harry and Hermione danced to in an awkward attempt to forget their reality.

255/365: One of These Things First, Nick Drake.
I could be oh so true, I would be, I should be through and through.

256/365: All I Believe In, The Magic Numbers & Amadou & Mariam.
Oh my heart I want you to be strong, I want you to be all I believe in.

257/365: My Dick, Mickey Avalon.
Best song of 2006. My Dick? V.I.P. Your Dick? Needs I.D.

258/365: Big Boy, Jeppe.
Now that we're already on the topic of junk. An ode to the well hung.

259/365: Strictly Game, Harlem Shakes.
This will be a better year, make a little money, take a lot of shit, feel real bad, and get over it.

36 down, 16 to go! 


I was in Ottawa visiting friends, and thus culminated this playlist of party/attemptive study music. All the excitement of being in Canada's capital made me miscount my musical days once more. I always claimed to suck with dates, even current ones.  I skipped 248, and am thus perpetually on Calgary time. How about we get drunk and forget all about it?

Musicians in The Market.

246/365: No Beef, Afrojak and Steve Aoki.
Effed up camel. My party song for the month of November.

247/365: No One's Gonna Love You, Cee Lo Green.
When things start splitting at the seams and now, it's tumbling down, hard.

248/365: Dynamite, Taio Cruz.
I'm suffering from an ailment causing me to throw my hands up in the air sometimes.

249/365: The Strangers, St.Vincent.
Paint the black hole blacker. Sounds like Disney symphonies combined with synth.

250/365: All or Nothing, O-Town.
Is it my attraction to Ashley Angel, or is this song just really really good.

251/365: Knife, Grizzly Bear.
Can't you feel the n-i-nj-nijaf-knife.

252/365: All Fired Up, Interpol.
See I've got this soul, it's all fired up. (Really wish the next line was "Maybe it's just the herpes")

35 down, 17 to go! 

Friday, January 7, 2011

Heat Activated

Proof that wall paper can be extremely cool (pun intended). Introducing Shi Yuan's heat sensitive wall coverings and calenders.

Blooming wall paper:
Turn the heat up - 

Symbolic daily calender:

Turn up the style. 

13000 words

Bestowed upon me on my most recent birth celebration was a real camera (that's its main functionality). Thus, great moments captured via my iPhone have been scarce. So extremely scarce in fact, I expect their demand to fiercely overpower gold, oil, and cookies any day now. In times of great change and sorrow (new Starbucks logo), I can't bear keeping these marvels from you any longer. This is... the 6th edition of my life in iPhone photos. This time, I even took pictures of  unsuspecting strangers. Why isn't Apple paying me yet?

Da na na na na, Inspector Gadget. Always have your shoes match your briefcase full of money and Barbie hair. 

This - apart from learning about Spermache  - is the reason I am taking Psychology. This shits peer reviewed! 

Plastic geometric step humping dog, "Welcome Customers!"

Favorite buy of the year: Zombie at Tiffany's t-shirt. I think Breakfast at Tiffany's Brains could have also been a good title, with Holly Go-nob-om-num-snifff-lighty.

Tony, the regal house cat. Could be a children's anime show. 

The outcome of letting my boyfriend touch my circle scarf. The most offensive part: His Movember rat stace. 

My favorite mountain, solely because it looks like an Iguana lying in the sun. 

Boyfriend's last name is Woods. He would have bought it too, except for the fact that I prefer he didn't smell like a suburban high school boy at a party. 

I Love Alberta Cow Butt. Also, I more recently said "Stop squeezing my boobs, I'm not a cow!" 

Should have read: I am in danger of drowning. I am not in a river. I am potentially having an orgasm. I am unattractive when I open my mouth like that. I am unaware that this picture is being taken.
Let's celebrate, in comparison to this ad campaign, the Bow River is gorgeous. 

Sequence: 1) Decide to take a break at work 2) Look down at this exact spot 3) Laugh uncontrollably 4) Take picture 5) Address office mate's concern for my sanity 6) Eat the Kit Kat during my break 7) Wish someone was willing to do the "Give me a break" clap with me 8) Return to work in a melancholic state

I don't know what is sadder. That they aren't identical twins and they look like this, or that they are and they still dress the exact same. 

Most likely an Asthma doctor right? ;)

Scarcity is scary.