Glee, here are some spectacular quotes from the first 5 episodes to whet your palette.
Will: Being a boy band did wonders for my love life... we started doing it once a week.
(Will (Mr. Schuester) is the Spanish teacher/ Glee club coordinator/ main character. He's a 30 something hunk, with a pathetic excuse for a wife, and the passion of a true artist.)
Emma: I'm a girl who knows her solvents, and your breath smells like rubbing alcohol.
-Rachel: I tried, but I don't have a gag reflex.
Emma: When you're older, that will turn out to be a gift.
(Emma is probably my favorite character.She has OCD, and is the only person on this earth who pulls off such a matchy-matchy style.)
Sue: I'll often yell at homeless people: 'Hey, how is that homelessness working out for you? Try not being homeless for once.'
-Sue: Iron tablet? It keeps your strength up when you menstruate.
Will: I don't menstruate.
Sue: Neither do I.
(Sue is terrifyingly hilarious, I think Adidas track suits can thank her for their boost in sales)
Finn:: I don't want to be the guy that just drives around throwing eggs at people!
Rachel: That was you?
-Finn: What's a cliche? Is that a bad thing?
(Finn is the student male lead. He was the first of the popular kids to join the show choir, and is extremely lovable, although not very intellectual.)
Rachel: Girls want sex just as much as guys do!
-Rachel: I won my first dance competition when I was three months old.
(Rachel is the star of the show.She has two gay dads, and always puts a gold sticker after her name.)
Quinn: If you quit the club, I'll let you touch my breast.
Finn: Under the shirt?
Quinn: Over the bra.
-Quinn Fabray [after Finn tries to get to second base]: Let's pray.
(Quinn is Finn's girlfriend, and president of the chastity club. :)
Kurt: My body is like a rum chocolate souffle. If I don't warm it up right, it doesn't rise.
(So what would a musical sitcom be without the honorary gay man? Kurt is amazing, not only can he sing, and dance, but he's the football teams kicker.)
Puck: Dude, my bowels have better moves than you.
-Cougar: Is that a nipple ring?
Puck: Yeah. I'm pretty rock 'n roll.
(His name is Puck (Shakespeare reference anyone??), he plays football, sings and dances, reserves his sex life to mostly Cougars only, oh, and he has a buzz cut Mohawk... enough said.)
Kurt: Smells like my Aunt Mildred.
April: Just drink it.
-Will: You remember me?
April: No. But I don't remember breakfast.
(April is actually a huge broadway star in reality, she plays the alcoholic, high school drop out, ready to give it another shot. She only has three credits to go!)
Clockwise from top left: Finn, Quinn, Rachel, and Puck
Be thankful you aren't in high school anymore, be upset that it wasn't this musical.