Three Pears, three pairs, 3 X 2=6, threesome times two, six-tom, sex-a-ton, burn calories, hunger, pear, two more, and that makes three pears.

This is my brain:

Sunday, October 11, 2009

Glee-ful Jargon

I have been converted. It didn't take much effort,or more than ten minutes of the pilot to get me hooked. I find peace in knowing what part of my Wednesday evening will consist of now. So, for those of you who are not newly obsessed with Glee, here are some spectacular quotes from the first 5 episodes to whet your palette.

Will: Being a boy band did wonders for my love life... we started doing it once a week.
(Will (Mr. Schuester) is the Spanish teacher/ Glee club coordinator/ main character. He's a 30 something hunk, with a pathetic excuse for a wife, and the passion of a true artist.)

Emma: I'm a girl who knows her solvents, and your breath smells like rubbing alcohol.
 -Rachel: I tried, but I don't have a gag reflex.
Emma: When you're older, that will turn out to be a gift.
(Emma is probably my favorite character.She has OCD, and is the only person on this earth who pulls off such a matchy-matchy style.)

Sue: I'll often yell at homeless people: 'Hey, how is that homelessness working out for you? Try not being homeless for once.'
-Sue: Iron tablet? It keeps your strength up when you menstruate.
Will: I don't menstruate.
Sue: Neither do I.

(Sue is terrifyingly hilarious, I think Adidas track suits can thank her for their boost in sales)

Finn:: I don't want to be the guy that just drives around throwing eggs at people!
Rachel: That was you?
-Finn: What's a cliche? Is that a bad thing?
(Finn is the student male lead. He was the first of the popular kids to join the show choir, and  is extremely lovable, although not very intellectual.)

Rachel: Girls want sex just as much as guys do!
-Rachel: I won my first dance competition when I was three months old.
(Rachel is the star of the show.She has two gay dads, and always puts a gold sticker after her name.)

Quinn: If you quit the club, I'll let you touch my breast.
Finn: Under the shirt?
Quinn: Over the bra.
-Quinn Fabray [after Finn tries to get to second base]: Let's pray.
(Quinn is Finn's girlfriend, and president of the chastity club. :)

Kurt: My body is like a rum chocolate souffle. If I don't warm it up right, it doesn't rise.
(So what would a musical sitcom be without the honorary gay man? Kurt is amazing, not only can he sing, and dance, but he's the football teams kicker.)

Puck: Dude, my bowels have better moves than you.
-Cougar: Is that a nipple ring?
Puck: Yeah. I'm pretty rock 'n roll.
(His name is Puck (Shakespeare reference anyone??),  he plays football, sings and dances, reserves his sex life to mostly Cougars only, oh, and he has a buzz cut Mohawk... enough said.)

Kurt: Smells like my Aunt Mildred.
April: Just drink it.
-Will: You remember me?
April: No. But I don't remember breakfast.
(April is actually a huge broadway star in reality, she plays the alcoholic, high school drop out, ready to give it another shot. She only has three credits to go!)

Clockwise from top left: Finn, Quinn, Rachel, and Puck

Be thankful you aren't in high school anymore, be upset that it wasn't this musical.

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