Kitsch for hipsters

Urban Outfitters is simultaneously the bane of my existence and the retail equivalent of my deep material dreams. Here are items I wish I had a legit salary to splurge on.  These things may be pretty, but you really should just pity me.  Also, it took some serious highlighting and Shift maneuvering to get the URLs for these pictures, you gotta appreciate. 

Tribal towels, like all of the chefs fighting for their land rights had. 

I'd fill this with pictures of my naked body in the shower. 

This is called the "Antoinette Fainting Sofa," enough said. 

I want this more than life itself. 

This bottle opener was made for Sanja. 

I want to fucking work there. 

Chairs for my charms. 

Lucy: You think you're so smart with that blanket. What are you going to do with it when you grow up?
Linus : Maybe I'll make it into a sport coat. 

I am unfit to be urban.